


The city breathes (when I do not)

by theJokkingBean



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Bad Parents Jack and Janet Drake, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Depressed Tim Drake, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Everyone Needs A Hug, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jack & Janet Drake's A+ Parenting, Jason Todd Deserves Better, Jason Todd Has Feelings, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd is Bad at Feelings, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Joker Junior - Freeform, M/M, Not as angsty as it seems I promise, Past Torture, Scarecrow's Fear Toxin (DCU), Tags Are Hard, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has a Bad Time, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake is Joker Jr., Tim Drake is Red Robin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24740314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theJokkingBean/pseuds/theJokkingBean
Summary: Tim stumbles into Jason one night, high on fear toxin. Jason discovers Tim isn't nearly as okay as he seems, and that he might care just a little more than either of them thought.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson (mentioned), Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 27
Kudos: 302





	The city breathes (when I do not)

“Well shit,” Jason swore under his mask as the newest solo vigilante came up behind him, footsteps as quiet as the calm night itself, but words as loud and annoying as the shots that rang through it. A fairly peaceful night in Crime Alley could always be turned upside down, and for Jason, it would be by Tim’s arrival.

“Jason?” Tim asked, collected and calm. Jason thought back to the still of the bird’s body the first time one of their frequent meetings went sour, the first time he had seen Tim... the first time Jason beat a fellow Robin within an inch of life. A lot had changed since then, but Tim’s too-trusting and too-calm demeanour had not. Sighing and shrugging dramatically, Jason turned around to meet the idiot who was asking for him on his shift, in his territory. “He went that way,” Jason joked dryly, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. The lame attempt at humour seemed to satisfy the teenager opposite him, and the Red Robin cracked an eerily empty smile.

“Ever the comedian, right, Jason?” He asked, with words that seemed devoid of any emotion, lacking the energy that radiated off of both his other brothers. Dick’s positivity, his anger, his sadness or Damian’s will to fight, to compete, to succeed. Jason wondered for the first time what it would be like for Tim, on his own yet still under the watch of Batman. That was what bothered him the first time they met after the whole death thing, when Jason was practically a baby vampire searching for blood. How the eye of Batman behind this new replacement, this new Robin, this new son... had been so insulting. So infuriating. How he almost killed the bird the second he got him alone, out of pure anger and hatred for the bat responsible for turning another teen into a weapon.

The scariest thing was, the kid knew all of his moves, all of his weak spots, as if they had fought before. It wasn’t until later that Jason remembered the little photographer he had come to know in his time as Robin, Tim Drake, who could make friends with faces as familiar as Selina Kyle and as forgettable as the Riddler. And who could give locations and weaknesses of opponents to a Robin before he ever had access to a locator device, comms, or practically anything other than a camera and his genius little brain.

The genius brain that looked like it had completely shut down since he last spoke. Jason found himself fighting to ignore it for his own sake. Must have been the stupid domino playing tricks with his brain, yeah, that was it. Besides, what good is he to fawn over the little replacement when the bitch has a whole family to do it for him?

“Code names, replacement,” was all that Jason could muster as a reply.

Red Robin looked over the edge of the building as if it held the answers to all his problems, something that Jason would no doubt lose sleep over, but wasn’t something he’d concern himself with now. What the baby bird thinks and whatnot wasn't his responsibility.

"By the by, Goldie already came over asking for me to crawl back over to the manor, but that ain’t gonna happen, hear me?” Jason continued, trying to brighten the mood but not appreciating the silence of the teen opposite him. Kid looked like a wreck.

Instead of answering, Tim just sighed. “Look, Jason, I need somewhere to crash. You got a place or no?” Red lights and alarms were flashing all through the taller vigilante’s head now. The squirt never asks for help, much less from Jason, who has tried several times to kill him. What the hell happened to make that different? Second was the slight sway in the bird’s body. Was the kid high? Drunk? He wasn’t bleeding from anywhere... a head injury? More, why wouldn’t he just ask someone else?

And then back to the actual question; there was so much wrong about that. The sudden bitterness coursing through his words, the short tone he’d never expect from Tim, and the fact that he was asking as if he was giving up all sent chills down Jason’s spine.

“I should really get payed for putting up with this family’s shit,” muttered Jason, already motioning for Tim to follow him through the door (speaking of which, how long has the kid known where Jason lives??), “but first, why the fuck you choosing me to take care of ya?”

“Nothing personal, Jason, don’t worry. I know this is a lot to ask but I may or may not have gotten a bit of fear gas fighting Scarecrow...” Tim paused then, noticing Jason's frozen figure begin to face him. 

Holy shit.

**Holy shit.**

_**Holy fucking shit Tim was insane.** _

“Wait wait wait hold the fuck up. SCARECROW??” Jason ran a hand through his hair and gave something wildly different from Bruce's disappointed glance, but he could tell it had the same effect on Tim even as the younger ex-Robin seemed to brush it off. 

“Relax, Jason, he’s taken care of now.”

Taken care of. That could mean a lot of different things, especially coming from the little idiot behind Jason. He huffed and walked inside, back turned on Tim, trying desperately to keep his anger to himself. He could almost feel the urge to kill this moron seep into his mind, the green around the edges of his blue eyes begin to flare.

“In custody of police, yadda yadda, you know how it is,” he continued, blissfully unaware of — or just flat out ignoring — the anger going through Jason at the moment. Of course, that only made Jason more angry, but there were important things to think about. Like how calmly Tim was saying this... how it is? How fighting the Scarecrow, Jonathan Crane, **is**? There didn’t look to be anyone following Tim either... possibly a fight afterward?

“Who’s with you, kid?” Jason asked, followed by silence. He opened the door, followed by silence. He closed it and turned on Tim, followed by an involuntary flinch... and silence. The stubborn brat fought Mad Jonny alone.

“Do. You. Have. A. Fucking. Death. Wish???” Seethed Jason through his teeth, trying desperately to keep his hands from the smaller vigilante’s neck. Tim had the decency to blush a little at that, and so what if it made Jason stop thinking for a second? But as quickly as the sheepish boy had appeared, Red Robin replaced him, breathing in before continuing. 

“As I said, he is taken care of.”

Yep, Jason was gonna kill him.

“Doesn’t fucking...” matter? Yes, it does. But what matters more is why the baby bird came to Jason in the first place, because it was obviously not to tell him all about the encounter. Before he could ask, Tim answered.

“I appreciate it, Jay, but I’m asking you a favour, not to fake being concerned. I have Dick for that. I’m here because I...”

He paused, looking at the door as if it could magically open without all the automatic passcodes and deadbolts set by Jason (and his well earned paranoia) that stood between him and the outside of the safe house. He continued in a smaller voice, “I need your help.”

And it didn’t stop there. “I need you to keep me in a room or something. You’re stronger than me and you’re less... sentimental about me than the rest are. Just make sure I don’t hurt anyone when the toxin kicks in, okay? All you have to do is lock me in a room until it’s over and I’ll deal with the rest.”

Okay there was so much wrong with... all of that? “First off, baby bird, I’m NOT locking you in a room while you’re on fucking fear toxin, okay? I don’t know what kinda shit you’ll do to yourself alone and that’s not a negotiation. Second, you’re gonna put some civvies on. I’ll get you some sweats and you can have my hoodie or something, just get that costume off.”

So much was being left out of that, but there was nothing Jason could do. Dick dealt with the angst of the family, **not** Jason.

“Oh, and birdie?” Jason’s heart skipped when he saw the grateful, concerned, and also somehow completely dead looking face opposite his and wondered how much of that was because of the toxin.

“After all this shit is done you’re gonna tell me how the fuck you got into a fight with Crazy Crane all on your own, Kay?” Tim nodded in agreement, but it was absent. “How much time you got?”

“‘Bout twenty minutes. New toxin so I’m not exactly sure.” Jason took off his sweater and handed it to Tim before shoving him into a room.

“That’s my bedroom. Sweats in the bottom left drawer. Then get out here and we’ll deal with whatever happens.” Yep, Jason should totally get payed for dealing with the idiot alone. He went to get his phone and texted Dick, sparing some details, about what was happening. Tim needed better than Jason could give him, especially on fear toxin. That shit messed with everyone, but Jason had never seen Tim on it. To make matters worse, Jason knew about Tim’s extensive stocking of antitoxins, and the fact that he hadn’t pulled any out told Jason it was a new gas... and that Tim knew that, too. Though Jason could barely admit it to himself, it was concerning him that the kid probably only came here because it was a new toxin. How dumb could one genius get?

Dick replied in a couple seconds, saying he’d be there as soon as he could. Caught up in a drug bust with the rest of the team. Great— Jason would be alone for this one.

Tim returned from the room practically swimming in Jason’s hoodie and sweats, the contrast showing Jason how scrawny the bird really was. Did this kid ever eat?

“Thanks... thanks, Jay, thank you. Jason, you gotta... I gotta... fuck jus’ lock me up already, Jay, you don’t know...” He seemed to sway even more than before, leaning against the door frame to hide it. 

**Shit**. Tim was already spouting nonsense. Jason went up to the smaller teen and almost regretted taking off his domino mask. He revealed eyes with huge pupils and almost no irises, looking incredibly wild and scared and... not in control. Come to think of it, this was a very odd state for Jason to see Tim in. Even when being killed, Tim always had control of the situation, or at least seemed to. Ten steps ahead. Always. That’s just how Tim worked. But now... now, Jason was looking at a lost boy swimming in someone else’s shirt, begging to be locked up in words bordering on imaginary.

“Tim, it’s gonna be okay, just sit down, alright?” Jason decided on a lighter tone that definitely felt weird coming from his mouth. How the fuck was he in this mess? Why couldn’t Dick or someone be here?

“No, Jason, I”m... I’m not asking for... no, don’t be nice, Jason, don’t be... Just lock me up, do it, please please please please,” he repeated it until it didn’t sound like a word to Jason anymore, and a part of him really wanted to give in and shove this crazy stranger into a room and never look at him again... But still, part of him knew this was still Tim. The same Tim who never gave up on Jason, as much as he should have a long time ago.

Yeah, Jason decided, Tim deserved far better than to be in a room with his insecurities on steroids and his fears all thrown at him. That thought alone was enough for Jason to pull off his helmet and domino mask, to sit with him on the couch while he shook violently from whatever the gas was doing to his head.

“Jason, just let me go.” And then he shook more. His pupils, Jason saw, were turning huge, and his eyes were blown almost out of his skull, though the impressive dark bags under his eyes did help that disgusting, concerning look. He kept his arms around his legs, curling into a ball on the couch. The older of the two crept closer to the younger, concerned, but Tim barely recognized a difference.

Until he did.

Before Jason could say anything remotely comforting or helpful, Tim was off of the couch and backed into the corner of the room, eerily quiet and looking down to the ground, making himself as small as possible. Some new Robin training the bat forced into him? Jason had no idea. Then, when he tried to move toward the shaking mess, Tim looked up at Jason, pure fear in his eyes, and flinched as if to block himself from a blow. When he realized nothing was coming, though, his eyes became more wild and he let out short, pained laughs that seemed to tear themselves out of his unwilling throat.

Jason suppressed the urge to vomit as he was reminded of someone who laughed the exact same way. 

The younger teen then began smiling like a maniac and touching his face as if something was missing. He started scratching at his face, pulling at his cheeks and peeling what Jason really hoped was makeup as the taller stood silently in horror, trying to forget the laughter and the blows from what seemed like a lifetime ago. Was a lifetime ago.

Red Hood, after too long, intervened, grabbing the kid's wrists through the oversized sweater and twisting the small teen around by them, holding him so that his back was pressed against the bigger man and he couldn't escape. Hood was concerned over the lack of effort it took to get hold of the little psycho, because usually, he was so paranoid that even a flea couldn’t get in his radius. Again, Tim’s hands frantically tried to reach up to his face as if something was missing there, writhing in the larger male's grasp. The blood that appeared on both sets of hands suggested Tim's face was bleeding. Seeming to realize how trapped he was, Tim freaked out even more, snapping his head back against Jason's with unexpected force. Jason's grip on his wrists let go slightly, and Tim broke free, leaving the sweater in Red Hood's confused and slightly dazed grasp while he ran to the kitchen. Red Hood got up slower than usual and heard a crash.

He was greeted by a sight he should have expected based on the rest of the shitshow, but Jason couldn't help the horrified feeling that squeezed his heart and made him pause for a split second. 

Tim, with a knife in his now useless hand, was shaking on the cold, hard kitchen floor. Jason quickly pulled the knife away while the heap underneath him that used to be Tim Drake continued to convulse violently. The ex-robin was left shaking while Jason ran to call Dick. Kept shaking as Dick answered and Jason stood there, almost as helpless as Tim because _what do I do what do I do what is happening why isn't Dick here?_

"Jason? Is... Is everything all right? Did Tim leave yet?" Dick's voice was far away to Jason, and not just because it was on speaker behind the scared vigilante.

Tim shook as though huge electric currents were going through him, and when Jason hung up out of pure exasperation and the knowledge that no, Dickie bird can’t help you from there, and he ran to get the knockout meds, the panicked kid continued to shake. Jason could hear it from rooms over and it terrified him. The kid was going to get a concussion at this rate.

He finally rushed over to Tim’s neck, and held down his chest to keep him still while he moved to push the needle in. Tim screamed at this, huge red eyes with uneven pupils getting even wider.

“ **NO**! NO YOU CANT! **YOU CANT DO THIS AGAIN! FUCK YOU!!** I'M NOT YOUR SON **I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SON** I AM NOT YOUR SON!” Jason felt tears creeping up behind his eyes as he struggled against his own doubts and against Tim’s unnatural seizing. Words were flying out of the kid’s mouth faster than could be heard by the older, much less understood. Both were getting desperate, and Jason found himself less relieved than he thought he would be at the sight of his replacement’s body finally sinking to the floor, arched back and wide eyes finally relaxing, his screams turning to mumbling and then to nothing. Yeah, he was far less relieved than he thought he would be, he thought as he braced himself for weight, picking up the smaller vigilante. The weight never came as he lifted the limp body off the ground, despite the distinct muscle that could be felt under the thin t shirt he'd stolen from Jason. Another problem for another time. Jason could make a page-long list just from tonight. 

Dick was so dead.

He would explain what the fuck just happened, first. But then he was **soooooo** dead. As if on cue, the fucking golden boy came through the door.

And he sure as hell wasn't expecting to find an unconscious and bloody Tim in the arms of a very pissed off vigilante.

**Author's Note:**

> soo this was my first work! Yay! I'll try to post more chapters, and I already have some started but I just love these messed up little beans so much. If I could write fluff at all you bet it'd be about these two idiots.  
> Also please let me know if I missed any tags, I don't want to trigger anyone cause y'all don't deserve that.


End file.
